Hal Stedman and the Chicago Corgi Crew

Vacuuming sucks!

Am I getting even more lazy or has vacuuming become harder? My last vacuum was very similar to the one pictured above. It was easy, so easy to use. Every week I would just change the bag, had to because of all the corgis and cats. Flip it on and the animals would become invisible, until I vacuumed just a bit close to where they were hiding. It was loud, it was powerful and it did the job twice a week, more if company was coming. I called it Hoover and one day after what seems like millions of uses it suddenly coughed up a corgi hairball, smoked a bit and died. My first inclination was to have it fixed, but I was told no, it's too old. Just buy a new one :)

Enter the canister vacuum. It's light! It never loses it's suction! Have cleaner air! So convenient! Wow, even though pricey, I was excited and the excitement lasted until I got home and opened the box and found the easy to assemble instructions. Someone grabbed the box from me and said "Here, I'll put it together, it's only a vacuum!" This from the person who thinks instructions are a waste of paper. It's always the same too. First it looks easy. Then comes the grumbling. Yep, there it is, the swearing. Followed by my favorite part of all "What is this?" He agrees to use the instructions and then it comes, like music to my ears "Oh, now I get it!" Finally, the vacuum is assembled and we turn it on to see if it works. It does and there are no extra parts left over in the box. Damn, this is looking good and it only took an hour or so and someone got to practice their cussing. If you think about it, isn't there almost always cussing when you're putting something together? Maybe the instructions could give us some new and clever cussing words?

Time to vacuum and I can't find the bags? Wait, whats this? The crap we vacuum up goes into this little canister and all we do is empty it out when it gets full, sounds easy enough. "Wow look how this sucks up everything" I gleefully exclaim. Then 30 seconds later it's full! I have to turn off the vacuum, figure out how to take the canister off and walk to the garbage bag to dump it out. I have many corgis and 2 cats. Do you know how MANY 30 second dumps there are? I'm spending more time emptying the thing than I am vacuuming! The animals are tired of hiding. The clean air? What clean air? I'm too out of breath from all the dumping to enjoy it! This thing isn't that convenient. Did they test this in a home with animals that didn't shed ALL the time.

Wow! None of the stores are carrying the old model that I liked? A ploy by the vacuum industry? I am going to stop in the vacuum store which is not to far from my house and maybe they'll have something like my old friend Hoover.

Peace Out, Homies.